Before I talk about RAW I want to talk about Payback, which exceeded my expectations thanks to three great surprises.
Curtis Axel’s IC Title win
Curtis Axel has become the Johnny Ace of 2013, and that’s a good thing. Someone who I once viewed as vanilla and bland has turned out to be one of the best heels for all the wrong reasons. Curtis is perfect in a terrible way. He truly is Mr.Miracle and Payback highlighted that with his pin against Wade Barrett, who was “locked” in a figure four by the Miz. Even more miraculous is the fact that he was even in that match at all, as Fandango was to be in his spot but received a concussion only a week before the PPV. It’s evident that the match was booked for Fandango to win, but I guess this now sets up an awesome Fatal Four Way between Miz, Barrett, Axel and Fandango, can’t wait!
The Divas Match!?
What was destined to be the worst match of the night became easily one of the most surprising. While we’ve seen The Shield vs. RK Hell No numerous times, AJ vs. Kaitlyn was a match that had been postponed for weeks, if not months. So for it to finally go down like it did, which was simply two competent female wrestlers duking it out, was a godsend. Especially considering we’ve seen nothing but the Bella Twins for fucking months. Also, we finally get to see the Divas title every week thanks to AJ.
Ziggler/ Del Rio Double Turn
We all expected Jericho to turn,we all KNEW it would be Daniel Bryan, and we all wanted Randy Orton to turn, but we never saw this coming. Dolph Ziggler became a baby face by getting his brain bashed in by Alberto Del Rio. Ziggler looked like a helpless, but courageous warrior as he was getting decimated by Del Rio’s head kicks. While Ziggler looked like a man who would never give up, Del Rio looked like someone who would do anything to win. When it was all said and done, it was the type of rare booking that not even #TeamBuried could think of. Well done WWE!
Now onto RAW a/k/a the best show of the year.
Christian returns…to do what?
Me and John Blade had recently discussed how Christian could come back. What we came up with was brilliant: he should come back as Edge. Yeah, fucking Edge. Realizing he would never be as good as his old friend, he become Edge, complete with a shitty wig. He would then repeat Edge’s entire career in the WWE, leading up all the way to being retired once again, by Alberto Del Rio. The entire time you have various WWE Superstars saying that it obviously isn’t Edge, except the commentary team and of course Vinny Mack. But nope, he just came back to fight Wade Barrett…why? I guess to get the IC title again, and then get fucking injured? Sure it was a great return, but if he doesn’t do anything exciting, I’m afraid to say that he’s…
Buried! after looking for a good storyline
Mark Henry‘s Retirement
Speaking of Edge, Mark Henry’s retirement was classy and almost brought a tear to my eye. That was until he world strongest slammed John Cena. Mark Henry fooled John Cena, fooled the audience, and fooled me. While he won’t get that belt from Cena in a million years, it will be a worthy match to watch. Mark Henry is one of the few big men, like Kane (not Big Show) who can put on an exciting match. Overall, Mark Henry buried us all with his brilliant performance.
Alberto Del Buried!
I’ve never seen a greater ending to RAW in my life, but it all revolves around Alberto getting buried due to how great it was. First, the man turns heel due to being booed. Then he flees from his match against CM Punk after getting the shit beat out of him. As he is running away he is jumped by Dolph Ziggler, who starts to, you guessed it, beat the shit out of him. Then, BROCK LESNAR F5’s CM Punk. The one thing the crowd could give less of a shit about was Alberto Del Rio. The only time he was cheered when we was leaving the arena. Great ending, one that Alberto had no place in.
The Paul Heyman Guys
When Brock Lesnar attacked CM Punk, everyone speculated that the two would face off at Money In The Bank. Let me tell you why that idea sucks more dick than Trish Stratus in 2002: MiTB isn’t a PPV that needs to be sold off of a Brock Lesnar match. No, MiTB is like the Royal Rumble, where the name alone sells tickets. Just the event itself is awesome and mysterious enough to make you want to watch. However, we very well could see Mr. Punk be in the MiTB match and Brock Lesnar interfering, thus causing him to lose. This could involve another Paul Heyman Guy, RVD, to secure the brief case. Hell, Lesnar could take out both men and that would set up an interesting tag team match at SummerSlam. CM Punk and RVD vs. Brock Lesnar and Curtis Axel. Hey man, (see what I did there) anything is possible. But for everyone thinking WWE is going to waste one of Brock’s contract matches on MiTB, please consider yourself…
Special thanks to Kaitlyn for showing her tits on live TV, I wont link the pictures but trust me, they’re out there. Also, while you’re at it, look up Celeste Bonin….yeah.
- WWE Payback Predictions (mytakeradio.com)
- Super Buried!( 6/3/13-6/7/13) RAW, Main Event, SmackDown (mytakeradio.com)