Myst’s Soapbox: WWE NXT:Redemption-Week 2

WWE NXT: The SNL of WWE

OK so I have really been trying with NXT. I mean I don’t want you guys to always have to read me poke fun at wrestling shows, I mean at heart I truly am a wrestling fan. However, WWE’s NXT gives me SO MUCH material to work with for mirth! I mean WWE puts its talent in some awkward positions and angles, but NXT is like at an nth level of that awkwardness. NXT is the daddy of all things awkward.

It starts right out the gate with the entrances of the “Pros” and “Rookies”. Now for the life of me I have yet to figure out why the Pros and Rookies don’t ever “match” in some fashion. You got heels with faces, or faces with heels. Or mind benders like Lucky with Tyson. Plus they come out and they don’t even sell it like their mentoring together (cause did anyone mention to Jacob Novak and JTG that they maybe should have practiced that hood shake on the ramp? I mean come on if you bringing the hood to Novak sell it to me fellas or don’t bother). The highlight of the entrances was Yoshi Tatsu jumping around like HE was the rookie (but at least Saxton got the Yoshi two handed overexcited wave right).

So……

We start out with some of the NXT “competition” foolery. On the menu tonight is the “Talk the Talk challenge.” Now if there ever was evidence of how little the rookies get any help with their promo cutting abilities, it’s this challenge. Over the seasons this challenge has given us the belly laughs of Eli Cottonwood’s scary description of mustache manliness, Kaval’s rap that took a not so subtle shot at TNA, and AJ Lee’s somewhat frantic explanation of how nerd girls rule (they do but she made me like want to Ebay all my Star Wars merch and give up my Game Stop membership after she was done.).

For those of you not familiar with this challenge the basic idea is the rookie gets 45 seconds to cut a promo about them self and try and win over the “WWE Universe” (or at the very least not get massively booed out the ring by the live attendance.). Novak started off doing……yea you guessed it “rapping”. I’m not a fan of Auto-Tune, but this guy seriously needed Drake and Weezy to at least say “Young Money” in the background or something. Even JTG backing him up with “YE-ah” couldn’t save “Kansas City Street” from the deafening boos. William Regal put it best when he said “I wanted to go right up there and punch him in the mouth”.

Next up… Darren Young. He wasn’t too bad, a little bland, but for what he lacks for in speaking skills he has proved he can make up for in the ring. Not sure that will save him but still is far more to work with than some of the rest of the guys. Connor O’Brien had a boo hoo-ing promo that had the audience talking during it and Regal’s comments making me laugh so I likely missed the heartfelt subtle nuances. Byron Saxton next, he handles the mic well (which I expected from him, as he IS a former TV personality), nice dig on Lucky Cannon in the Muppet Pimp Robe, all in all not bad. Can I smush Darren and Saxton together? Because that would give me the PROPER NXT winner, come on WWE you owe me this one solid.

No? Fine……Moving on.

Apparently, Lucky Cannon’s name is now aka Delish, aka Mr. Steal Your Girl aka Lucky Cannon. Does he know this will not fit on a Social Security card? He also has further upped his pimpology for me. Delish? Really dude? I almost want Superfly to hit, hand him a cane and let him go full on Huggy Bear swag mode. I see you player. I was trying to listen to Titus, but the Omega symbol on his butt of his trunks was sorta distracting. Anyway, from the gist of what I did manage glean that he is working a “fraternal order” gimmick lots of barking and hand symbols. Titus is another one who performs in ring and then goes strange on the mic. Some of these guys really need to learn to tighten up their gimmicks. Professional Wrestling is a show, so SHOW US what you got. But the bark apparently was a crowd favorite and he took the win. Or perhaps Titus just laced the audience with the entire Omega Psi brotherhood of Kansas City.

Still waiting for someone to wrestle……

Titus did his vignette. I didn’t really get it cause aside from the barking and Hornswoggle he still seems the same to me. So Darren and Connor in the ring, there was a lot of early heavy domination on the part of O’Brien. But Darren Young took the win with a very nice new finisher (a Heat Wave), definitely growth from last week.

Yoshi and Maryse backstage again. Then just add Lucky, very um…..odd. Sets up a Yoshi and Lucky feud, does anyone really care? Yoshi + Ted+ Maryse didn’t work so I don’t know why WWE thinks Yoshi + Maryse + Lucky + Muppet Robe will work. Novak vignette, which goes to show why Vickie and Dolph made him more interesting. Let’s face it Vickie G…..hell she makes anything more interesting on WWE. Tag Match with Tyson & Lucky Vs Yoshi & Byron Saxton. Like why WWE believes in Lucky (other than his face cause that’s all I see that they are going on) is beyond me. This guy could not even pick up Yoshi properly. For a minute I was sure he was gonna drop him and break his back or something. Then he went for the submission and couldn’t even keep his legs crossed (big ole gap clearly visible, Yoshi could have rolled out if he had wanted). Yoshi sold his rather slip shop skills as best he could, and there were a glaring many. Saxton gets in the ring with Tyson, he wasn’t terrible but I could see him hesitating. Then Lucky makes the sneak blind tag on Tyson, AGAIN can’t hardly lift Saxton (Yo WWE get this man a gym membership like NOW!). Saxton takes the L, while Tyson and Lucky are now set-up to have beef.

To round off the night. . . Keg carry. I still wonder did Titus trip his first go at this on purpose in Season 2? Well, it’s still classic footage of what is an awesomely dumb challenge. Highlights of this: Yoshi’s monotone of “Go Go Byron Go”, Lucky’s refusal to participate which lead to a badly spoken French poem for hitting on Maryse (followed by a slap), and more barking (though this time Titus did redeem himself). Really who doesn’t love a happy ending.

And that wraps NXT……..