Bald Rage: The State of Hollywood Today

If you have ever heard an episode of My Take Radio then you have prob­a­bly heard me flip­ping out about how ter­ri­ble movies are these days. On episode 49 I went some­what into detail on what is wrong with the film indus­try. Please allow me to elab­o­rate. This is a two-sided prob­lem that lays fault on both Hol­ly­wood and the “aver­age” movie­goer. I am going to go into details on both and then see if I can­not for­mu­late a solu­tion to the issue.

The obvi­ous direc­tion to point the fin­ger of blame would be the source. I can go on for days about the steam­ing pile of awful movies that have come out in just the past six months but just dump­ing on the movies them­selves ignores three major ques­tions: Who thinks up this crap? Who in their right minds allows it to be made? Finally, why do peo­ple pay good money to see it? I am on Hol­ly­wood itself right now, so I will save the third ques­tion for later. Hol­ly­wood has gone soft, plain and sim­ple. On the show I used a much more graphic ter­mi­nol­ogy, but it is harder to keep an edi­to­r­ial away from chil­dren so I try to keep it clean here. I am all about reward­ing cre­ativ­ity and Hol­ly­wood seems tapped out by the look of things. This sea of remakes and film adap­ta­tions of comics, car­toons and games (whether they be of the board or video vari­ety) are lit­er­ally inun­dat­ing the mar­ket. I will not say this is all bad because remakes like the Incred­i­ble Hulk were great. There are adap­ta­tions like Spider-Man, Sin City and the more recent Kick-Ass that were great comic to film trans­la­tions. While I can­not think of a good cartoon-based movie right now, I have to acknowl­edge that Clue was a fun albeit silly adap­ta­tion of a board game. Notice how every­thing I men­tion (except Kick-Ass) is at least a cou­ple of years old? In 2010, the for­mula seems to be:

  • Dumb it down as much as pos­si­ble because view­ers have zero atten­tion span
  • Make sure it has a character(s) you can mar­ket as a toy
  • Throw in a hot guy or girl to draw the teen audi­ence even if said char­ac­ter is com­pletely with­out value to the story

Viola! You just cre­ated an instant “movie.” I’m com­par­ing movies to cof­fee now. We want that rich, sat­is­fy­ing real fla­vor of the freshly brewed movie, but because we as Amer­i­cans have no patience, we set­tle for the instant crap. Oh yeah, Amer­ica, I told you there was a third issue and I am look­ing at you.

Hol­ly­wood is mostly to blame because it is the source of the crap we see, but if said crap made no money, it would not con­tinue to hit movie the­aters like the prover­bial fan. It is because of our sheep­ish­ness that movies like ‘Avatar’ get nom­i­nated for Best Film when it was a 3D remake of ‘Fer­n­gully: The Last Rain­for­est.’ We are the ones that run out to see Alpaca-faced were­wolves even though we know the movie is nowhere near as good as the book. Why is a movie like ‘X-Men Ori­gins: Wolver­ine’ NOT rated R? Why are great movies like Watch­men and Kick-Ass over­looked just because they are R-rated? The answer is both a good thing and a bad thing. In the 80s and 90s, going to the movies was a date thing or a thing you did with a bunch of friends and the group of friends loved the R-rated flick; the boyfriend wanted to take the girl­friend to the hor­ror movie or the raunchy flick because he wanted to get in her pants. In 2010, it is all about the fam­ily expe­ri­ence, which in the­ory is a beau­ti­ful thing. It’s great to see fam­i­lies together at movies (unless I have to sit next to that whin­ing brat) and I am truth­fully all for that. The prob­lem is that par­ents still want to let out­side influ­ences raise their chil­dren instead of doing their own damned jobs. This is what kills me. You will buy Grand Theft Auto IV (mind you, the title alone is a felony) for your 8 year old, you will let them watch Fam­ily Guy and South Park, all of this is unsu­per­vised, but you will not take the child to see an R-rated movie. Seems to me that the nuclear fam­ily is suf­fer­ing from brain dam­age from all of that fall­out. Here’s an idea: Don’t let your chil­dren play those M-rated games just to get you out of their hair; don’t let them watch that show just because lit­tle Jimmy’s mom lets him and instead, do your job. The truth of the mat­ter is that we live in vio­lent times, prob­a­bly more so than ever before. Take any form of media and you will find that it has never truly been appro­pri­ate sub­ject mat­ter for chil­dren. Bugs Bunny used to walk around in black­face and Looney Tunes char­ac­ters were known for com­mit­ting sui­cide. Since most par­ents are going to con­tinue to buy their under­age chil­dren the M-rated game and let them watch the MA-rated TV show, maybe play the game with them and watch the show with them like my mom used to so you can explain what is wrong with what is going on and our chil­dren can have a sense of value. If your child is bug­ging you to go see the ‘The Losers,’  ‘Splice’ or whatever-R-rated-movie-of-the-day, take them to see it and talk with your child about it. Chil­dren know all about the inter­net and they are going to see the movie any­way. If you do all this and your child still shoots up a school then you as a par­ent can truly say “I tried my best, I don’t know what happened.”

Let’s sum­ma­rize things here. Hol­ly­wood needs to let its balls drop again and put out more qual­ity movies with­out wor­ry­ing about any­thing below an NC-17 rat­ing. Par­ents need to con­tinue the trend of fam­ily view­ing and take chil­dren to see the ‘Despi­ca­ble Me’-type of fam­ily movies but also be ready to watch the vio­lent ‘Kick-Ass’-type flicks so they can do dam­age con­trol on their chil­dren. Every­one needs to stop sup­port­ing the end­less remakes unless they are war­ranted. And let Hol­ly­wood keep mak­ing movies like ‘The Killers’ and ‘Mar­maduke.’ Let those movies sit in the­aters with no one watch­ing them and even­tu­ally, the qual­ity of films will improve because as always, Hol­ly­wood goes with what sells.

 Bald Rage: The State of Hollywood Today
Handel
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